Hold It Together
by Some Broken Hearts Never Heal
Summary: Kate is gone and Abby can't deal with it. She's falling apart, there is a dark spot on the horizon that seems to be getting closer. Maybe it can help. Abby really needs to hold it together. Zabby, implied Kabby. Rated for language, violence & eventual sex
1. Abby 1

"_Abby, I can't make this a long goodbye. If my dad..." I grasped Kate's hands tightly between my own and tried to hold back the tears_

"_It's okay Katie Kat. I understand." And I did. I knew what her family were like and her Father especially._

"_I just wanted to give you this." I raised an eyebrow then gasped in shock as Kate pulled her special Dog Tag over her head and handed it to me. I read the familiar inscription __Property of Caitlyn Leanne Todd_

"_But Kate..." She silenced me with a kiss, not letting me finish my complaint._

"_Mary-Anne, go and get the girl. We're leaving!" Kate span round at her Father's voice._

"_I have to go. I love you Abby." Then she was gone. I wasn't sure if she heard me when I said_

"_I love you too."_

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><p>"See you tomorrow Abby!" I waved to Tony as Gibbs, Timmy and I began to walk home. I rubbed the sleeve of my jumper nervously, trying not to wince in pain as the cotton rubbed against my cuts that were just beginning to scab over. I shouldn't have come to school today, it was too soon, Kate had only gone yesterday, the wounds, both mental and physical, were still too raw, too fresh.<p>

"Abs, are you sure you're alright?" Gibbs asked as Timmy walked ahead, swinging his bag and almost skipping. My younger brother was weird. I shook myself out of my thoughts.

"No, Gibbs, no I'm not alright. My best friend and girlfriend left town yesterday and all we got as a goodbye was a quick half a minute conversation and I'm probably never going to see her again. How can I be alright? How can I ever be alright?" I nearly started crying again, but gulped it down, not wanting to worry Timmy, who was slowing down, so that he was nearly level with Gibbs and I.

Gibbs dropped Timmy and I outside our house and I rushed in without looking at the house next door. Timmy followed, a little bit behind, he probably was saying goodbye to Gibbs and informing him that I was probably on my period or whatever. Seriously, he's a strange kid, sometimes I swear he was switched at birth. That or he was a changeling. One or the other.

Without thinking I went straight to the back door, after dumping my hoodie in the hall, ready to let Kate in, after she had snuck through the back gate without her Father noticing. When I didn't see her, I momentarily panicked, and then I remembered. Kate was gone. Kate was never coming back. Kate was... Kate was... I fell to the floor, tears rolling down my face as I tried to curl into myself, tried and squash the pain that was blossoming within my chest. It was like there was a hand there trying to rip the beating organ out of my chest. It hurt, it hurt so bad and I wanted it to stop, why wouldn't the pain stop? Why wouldn't Kate come back?

Instinctively, I reached up to the drawer nearby and took out the knife. While pressing it into my forearm and pulling it back again and again and again on different areas, watching the blood pool up out of my arm and dripping down onto my lap. I dropped my knife after a moment and gripped the dog tag round my neck, tears and blood mixing on my lap as I tried to re-gain some form of control over myself.

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><p>"Abby! Abby!" I felt something wet hit my face, and again, cold and wet and... it was water, what the hell? Then I realised, I must have passed out from the lack of blood or from hunger, since I hadn't eaten since I had heard the news, which had been nearly a week.<p>

Timmy was hovering above me, holding a cup in one hand and bandages in the other. He smiled and dropped the bandages next to me before leaving the kitchen. Timmy knew that if he tried to help I would yell at him or threaten him or worse. One time I broke his arm because he tried to help me, I can't help it, the only person who I have ever let near me when I'm in that state was Kate, and with her gone, I'm left to deal with it all by myself and it hurts, and its hard. But I have to.

I need to hold myself together.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: Well? Love? Hate?<br>Feedback is love guys! Spread it! Send it to me!**


	2. Ziva 1

"Ziva hurry up!" I let my eyes wander around the room that had been my home since I was born for the last time. I was going to miss this place, the cracks in the ceiling that formed the shape of an ostrich, the blob of nail varnish on the wall from were Ari had thrown my bottle of deep red at the wall in a fit of rage. You could see the blu-tak marks from where all my posters had been.  
>"Ziva!"<p>

"Coming Father!" I shouted back, walking out of my room and closing the door for the last time.

It was the end of an era.

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><p>Father dragged Ari and I round to our neighbours, we only had the one, since we were at the end of the road. Before we even got half way down the drive we could hear music blaring from the kitchen. My father frowned and Ari looked distrustful. However, from the music playing it appeared that there was someone there of my age, so I was quite looking forward to this now.<p>

My Father knocked and we heard a voice from inside shout

"Timmy! Door!" I was surprised whoever it was had heard the knock over the music. The door opened to reveal a boy, probably about fourteen, in a baggy t-shirt and denim jeans. He looked momentarily confused before seemingly deciding something.

"You guys are the new neighbours right?" He asked. My father nodded.

"My name is Eli David, this is my son Ari and my daughter Ziva." I nodded when Father said my name, but my attention had been drawn to the kitchen. There was a girl dancing while she was washing dishes. The music seemed to flow through her as she moved. She wasn't particularly graceful, but she seemed to move with a flow and a rhythm that no-one else could have possessed.

"I'm Timmy McGee Scuito. That's my sister, Abby and my mum is in the living room, but she's deaf, which is why she hasn't come out to see you yet." Timmy explained.  
>"Would you like to come and meet my mum?" He asked. My father nodded and he and Ari began to follow Timmy. I took this as a chance to duck out and get into the kitchen as I watched Abby dance. She was singing along too, though I couldn't hear it when we were out in the hall.<p>

"_Don't you wish you could hold  
>The Angel in the centrefold<br>That fantasy you couldn't control  
>Who walked away from you.<em>"

It was then I spotted her arms. One was covered in bandages and the other had fresh cuts and scars littering her pale flesh, standing out by the raising of the skin and the red marks around the fresher wounds.

I took a step and Abby froze before spinning around, her eyes landing on me. Her eye's widened then settled into slits, her mouth a thin line of red lipstick, creating the impression of a gash across her face.

"Who are you?" I opened my mouth, ready to start a response but she cut me off.  
>"What are you doing here? How did you get in here? Who are you? GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" Abby screamed that last part and I backed out through the kitchen door and into the hallway, were I bumped into my brother and Father getting ready to leave. I thanked god as we left the house.<p>

I had been wrong about perhaps being friends with the person next door. As much as I wanted to be friends with her, she didn't seem to want anything to do with me.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: I don't own the song <em>Centerfold<em> by P!nk, just to let you know.**

**Hope you like it, please review and share the love x**


	3. Abby 2

I panicked when I saw the girl in the kitchen. She was tanned with dark hair and brown eyes, but that didn't bother me at all. The only things that bothered me was that she was in my kitchen, she was female and she wasn't Kate.

Without thinking I began screaming at her to get out of my kitchen. She left, backing out, and not long after I heard our front door slam. I was leaning against the sink and breathing heavily, trying to re-gain control over my body, over my feelings. P!nk was still blaring from the stereo and my heart was beating in time with the frantic rhythm of the song. I took a deep breath, then another, then another. I could feel my heart rate calming and I straightened myself up and resumed doing the washing, trying to clear my mind of the panic. It worked kinda well, I didn't break down again and my heart rate began to calm. Within minutes the rest of the dishes were done. Then, and only then, did I let myself run to my room to get away from the scene of the crime.

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><p>"Sheesh Abz. What hit you in the face?" I glared at Tony as I slumped down into my chair during tutor period. Gibbs took his regular seat to my left, leaving the right one un-occupied, as though Kate was still going to come and sit in it. Gibbs hit Tony round the back of the head.<p>

"I'll hit _you_ in the face in a minute Tony." I threatened before groaning and placing my head down on my desk. Why the hell do cuts have to sting more at night? I didn't get a wink of sleep. I was determined I was going to sleep my way through my day. I couldn't deal with teachers and students and people in general on this little sleep. Tony was quiet and Gibbs rested a hand on my arm before extending his other arm holding a mini Caf-Pow! I smiled at him and took the drink, sipping it gratefully.

No more of this stuff after twelve though, or I won't sleep again tonight.

"Right Class. Quieten down now!" I slid further down into my seat, resisting the urge to hug Gibbs and lean against him, since the teacher wouldn't approve and then I'd be in deep deep shit and I just couldn't be bothered deal with it.  
>"We have a new student today. Her name is Ziva David..." A voice interjected.<p>

"It's Daveed. Enhance the E sound." I looked up to see the girl who had been in my kitchen yesterday. Oh this is just what I fucking needed. The teacher nodded before surveying the classroom.

"Well Miss David, why don't you take the seat next to... Miss Scuito, there, at the back of the room." I stiffened. But that was Kate's seat. This.. This stranger was NOT allowed to sit in that seat. No-one was allowed to...

"Hey, I'm Ziva..." She was in Kate's seat. I gripped Gibbs' arm, trying hard not to flip out. Gibbs laid a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I'm Gibbs. That's Tony. This is Abby." Gibbs pointed to each of us in turn as he continued his comfort/restrain. Ziva nodded and smiled at each of us in turn, but I noticed she flashed me an extra big smile.

I lay my head down on the table as the teacher began the lesson, ignoring the whispered conversations between the rest of the class.

All I wanted to do right now was to sleep and never wake up.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: Well? Please bear in mind, this chapter was written at about 3am in the morning.<strong>

**Review please! Spread the luuuuuuuuuuuuurve people x**


	4. Ziva 2

It had been a week since I had moved to a new town and started a new school, and Abby was still being a total BITCH! to me. I didn't know what I was supposed to have done, but apparently it was something absolutely horrendous, since she seemed to hate me with a fiery passion.

I had asked Gibbs, but he had refused to explain, and every time I had tried to talk to Tony, all he did was stare at my boobs, the boy was a complete and utter perv!

I couldn't get anywhere near Timmy, as Abby was super-protective of her younger brother, meaning that if I even tried I have a feeling she would attempt to beat me up. Not like she could succeed, but she would try.

"Timmy! Do your homework BEFORE you go out!" I heard Abby shout. Our walls were really thin, and I had found something by accident yesterday. There is a brick in the wall, next to my bed, that comes out and I can see through to Abby's room. I only looked for a moment before re-placing the brick. It seemed like an invasion of privacy, even though she had a poster that covered the hole. But I was curious now.

I went and laid down on my bed and gently, quietly, removing the brick from the wall. I couldn't see anything because of the poster, but I could hear.

Abby sighed.  
>"Honestly, that boy never changes." I grinned, so she was human! I heard a song playing, not loud, must have a ringtone<p>

_Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan!_

What on EARTH?

"Hello Gibbs." Abby muttered after the phone had stopped ringing.  
>"Uh huh...Yeah...I'm FINE! Gibbs...Just leave me alone!" there was a click, then a flump, and I assumed that she had thrown herself onto her bed.<br>"Oi! Ziva David..." I clenched my fist as she pronounced my name wrong.  
>"I know you're listening in, I heard you remove the brick from the wall." I panicked.<p>

"Hello Abby." I said, as she pulled the poster down from the wall.

"What do you want?" She asked. I could only see one eye through the hole, but it was steely and unimpressed.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright, you have seemed a bit upset for this week." It was a fair enough lie, I mean, I could hardly tell her the truth. _You're the only person who has seemed to show any sign of depth in this town so I wanted to get to know you_ it just made me sound stalker-ish.

"As I'm sure you heard me telling Gibbs. I'm fine. Now put that fucking brick back into the wall and leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you, don't you understand that?" I sighed.

"I understand that perfectly Abby, however you do not seem to have noticed that I want something to do with you."

"I don't give a shit what you want..." And then she was quiet. I didn't speak again, not wanting to aggravate her further, but I didn't put the brick back either, so I fell asleep to the sound of Abby's breathing much later that night.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: My wonderful wonderful girlfriend has been doing Fannart for this story, there is only one so far, based off the first chapter, so here's the link.<br>Delete the spaces.**

**http:/ gaaraakatsuki. deviantart. com /#/ d4mh08r**

**:-) R&R Please, spread your love to me.**

**P.S. I'm writing this through Writers Block at the moment, however my writing standard should pick up again soon enough x Plus I struggle with Ziva's POV**


	5. Abby 3

I knew that Ziva hadn't put the brick back, but I really just couldn't be bothered fighting with her any more tonight. She just really got on my nerves! She seemed to just bask in the attention that Tony gave her, she was constantly trying to cosy up to Gibbs and trying to get close to Timmy. She just wont stop interfering in my life!

I hadn't slept in nearly a week, it was hard to sleep without the sound of someone breathing through the hole in the wall. But with Ziva removing the Brick and with me being able to hear her breathing deeply and evenly, eventually I managed to drop off.

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><p>"Come on Abby!" I heard Timmy shout as I stumbled through my morning routine. I knew sleeping was a bad idea. I was now running late. It's all Ziva's fault! Just when I was beginning to think that she was a nice person.<p>

When I finally managed to stumble out of the front door, I was already ten minutes late. Timmy had left five minutes earlier, alone, as I was 'Taking too long' and that is a direct quote.

I skidded into tutor two seconds before the teacher stood up to take attendance. I let out a panting breath as I dropped into my seat, my bag hitting the floor with a thunk.

"Ow!" I heard Ziva cry. I looked down to see that rather than landing on the floor, my bag had landed straight onto the Israeli's foot. I suppressed a giggle as I pulled it off and kicked it under my table. I didn't apologise and she didn't push for onem which surprised me. I suppose she had figured out that she wouldn't get one from me.

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><p>I hated P.E with a fiery passion. I really didn't see the point in it. When are we going to need to know how to dodge a ball in the real world, unless we work as a P.E teacher, in which case, you would have to be one sadistic motherfucker, which although I do like causing people pain, being a PE teacher is just a whole new level of cruel!<p>

My thoughts were cut short by a ball slamming into my face, nearly knocking me over.

I walked over to the out bench and sat. I was glad to be out. At least I wouldn't have to move anymore.

I watched and it amused me to see how seriously people took this stupid little game. Then I saw one person get hit with a barrage, it was Jenny, the one who had hit me with the ball, she knew I didn't want to play so she always tries to hit me. I looked over to my team to see Ziva looking triumphant. She caught my looking and grinned, nodding towards Jenny who was hobbling towards her out bench, before grinning back to me. SHE had thrown all those balls at Jenny? What the hell was wrong with her?

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><p><strong>SBHNH: Well? Love? Hate?<strong>

**I'm working through my writers block and beginning to get somewhere. I always find it easier to write in Abby's POV, because we are more alike, but I'm getting there, promise.**

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	6. Ziva 3

Abby looked really disappointed when I told her that I had knocked that red-head girl out of the game because she had hit Abby in the face with the ball. I shrugged internally as I continued to play. What had I done now? I just didn't seem able to do anything right.

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><p>Later, in the changing rooms, I saw Abby go up and hug the red-head and I realised that they were friends. Then it hit me. Of course Abby wanted to be out! With her arms all scratched up like that she would barely be able to throw a ball, let alone catch it. The other girl must have deliberately gotten her out, though I did wonder if she knew WHY Abby didn't want to play.<p>

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><p>I sat next to Tony in maths which annoyed me because he was bad at math and was constantly trying to copy my work. But today I had a plan! I would let him copy my work IF he told me why Abby had such a vendetta against me. The teacher began explaining some form of Algebra to the class and I seized the opportunity.<p>

"Tony! If you tell me why Abby hates me so much then I will let you copy my answers for this lesson." I whispered, looking at the board, making out that I was paying attention to the lesson.

"Really? If I tell you why Abby hates you, you'll let me copy?" I nodded, taking a quick note on how to do that certain type of problem.  
>"Deal!" Tony whispered, a little too enthusiastically it seemed as the teacher span round and shot us a look.<p>

Once we were set to work Tony started talking.

"Just before you arrived, a day before actually, Abby's girlfriend left town..." Her GIRLFRIEND? She was Gay? Not that it mattered, it just surprised me, I didn't mark her as the type to enjoy the fairer sex.  
>"...Her Father took her away. Abby sank, lower than she's ever gone before, and she's gone pretty damn low before. Then you arrived, you moved into her old house, into her old room from what I've heard and start infiltrating her life, or at least that's how Abby sees it and its getting her angry, not just at you, but at herself for not fighting harder for Kate and for just letting you come into her life without much of a fight." I could feel my eyes widening. No wonder Abby was so hostile towards me. Maybe now I knew I could work on not annoying her so much.<p>

I didn't question Tony any further and let him copy my work, just as I had promised I would.

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><p>"Abby?" I asked when I was lying down and trying to go to sleep. Abby grunted and I smiled, well at least I know I won't be talking to myself.<br>"I'm sorry... For... For the way I have been that past week... I just... I just wanted a friend, you know. It's a new town, a new school and I just wanted someone nice to talk to. So I hope you forgive me." I rolled over and closed my eyes. Just before I drifted off, I thought I heard Abby whisper;

"I'm sorry too..." But I couldn't be sure.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: Well?<strong>

**Oh, by the way guys, the fannart for chapter two is up. It can be found here: **

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**Just remove the spaces :-)**

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	7. Abby 4

I was nearly late again the next day. This was becoming a routine almost. I would fall asleep then I would just manage to get into school on time. Though it has to be said that having someone breathing on the other side of my wall was quite relaxing, and Ziva's apology last night was quite touching, though I hope she didn't hear me when I told her that I was also sorry, but if she did I will deny it, so I don't suppose it really matters.

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><p>When I saw Timmy at lunch he was with some weird kid that I had never seen before.<p>

"Hey Timmy." I greeted as I sat in my normal lunch seat.

"Well no-one but my sister calls me that." He said to the weird kid before shooting me a look. The look was soon transferred to Tony, who appeared behind me and also greeted Timmy the same way I did.  
>"And her friends... Abby, Tony, this is Feliciano. He and his brother just moved here. Feli, this is my sister Abby and her friend Tony."<p>

"Ah buongiorno! Yes, my name is Feliciano and I am very glad to be here where everyone seems so happy and all the ladies seem quite beautiful, especially you, Abby, sister of Tim." What on or off this earth was wrong with this kid? He seemed more regressive than Timmy, and that within itself is quite an achievement.

"So you and your brother just moved here? What year is he in?" Tony asked. Or I assume that's what he asked, as he did have a mouthful of cookie at the precise moment of speaking. Why did today have to be the day Gibbs had a dentist appointment? And where the hell was Ziva? Okay, now I know the situation is desperate if I want HER around.

"Si si, my older brother Lovino and I moved here with our grandfather only yesterday! We started school here today and Tim here was so nice helping me with my science work vee." Vee? This guy was a whole new level of stupid!  
>"So anyway! What do you guys have for lunch vee? I have Pasta! I love Pasta! It's my favourite food ever!" That is when I reached my limit.<p>

"Sorry guys, I just remembered I have to... Ummm... Go and speak to the librarian." I then practically ran away. I know the excuse was shit, but that kid was winding me up, and I could feel a headache starting.

Do you know what? Screw it!

I checked that no-one was looking before I snuck out of the front gate and headed home. Timmy would walk home alone if I wasn't there five minutes after the bell, it was the system we had devised, mainly just so I could do this without him waiting around for me until I remembered to go and get him.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: I'm sorry this chapter is so short, my writers block keeps tripping me up.<strong>

**Just to say, the characters Feliciano and Lovino are from the anime Hetalia. My girlfriend was trying to help me through my writers block and we ended up creating a random crossover, so I promised to include it.**

**Don't worry, they aren't major characters, I just thought I would just explain :-)**

**P.S. I'm not updating until I get 2 reviews! Hop to it people!**

**Spread the luuuuuuuuuuuurve!**

**Many kisses.  
>SBHNH!<strong>


	8. Ziva 4

I was trying to do my homework when I heard the music blaring through the hole in the wall. Well at least I knew that Abby was at home. No-one else I had ever met had their music at such an earsplitting volume.

It wasn't the same stuff that I have been hearing from her, it was happier almost. I put my pen down and moved to my bed and listened.

"_Try to make me change my eats!  
>But baby that just isn't me!<br>I'm a whole lot'a  
>Whoah oh oh oh oh oh<br>Hell to the no no no no no no no no!"_

Forget happy. It had a cheerier tune but she still sounded like she was gonna kill someone.

I knocked, twice, loudly, on the wall and the music dropped in volume considerably.

"What?" Abby snapped and I heard her throw herself onto her own bed.

"Thank you. It is impossible for me to get any work done with you playing your music that loud, and as much as I like hearing you sing, I kinda need to finish this P.E theory work." Abby huffed, but didn't seem to move, so I took that as acceptance and got back to my diagram about human muscles.

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><p>"So Ziva, how is school?" My Father asked as we all sat down to eat the dinner that I had prepared that evening.<p>

"School is good Father. I am already coming top in many of my lessons." My Father nodded as he chewed a mouthful of his food.

"You are not associating with that..._girl_ next door I hope" He said girl with such scorn that I swallowed thickly, my protests rising in my throat. He had made it very clear that he did not approve of Abby or her family, and both Ari and I had been warned to stay away. I had been lying to him, telling him that I stayed well away from Abby, though in truth I wanted to be doing the exact opposite. But the girl was hardly making it easy, it was almost as if she agreed with my Father that our two worlds should never mix.

"No Father. I have been concentrating solely on my studies." My Father smiled his small smile.

"That's my girl."

No. I wasn't his little girl anymore. That was why we were here, and we all knew it.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: I know this chapter is short... and I'm sorry for the Glee song, it was stuck in my head when I was writing this chapter... so thats where that came from...<strong>

**I'm not gonna ask for reviews again, but please do, it helps with the inspiration. Honest. I'm not lying. I swear *Shifty look***

**R&R please!  
>Spread the <strong>

**Many Loves  
>SBHNH :-)<strong>


	9. Abby 5

**SBHNH: Sorry for making you guys wait so long!  
>Writers block was raping my face and giving me mouth herpies, so I had some real trouble spurting this out.<br>And my Ipod FECKING DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN! *Angry face*  
>But yes, enjoy this chapter :-)<strong>

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><p>"Timmy! Go and get mum for me! Tea's ready!" I shouted up the stairs. Despite popular belief, I did actually enjoy cooking, creating something from practically nothing. It was soothing, though today's mean was hardly gourmet, mainly coz mum doesn't get paid till tomorrow, so I was working with what we had left.<br>I heard Timmy thundering down the stairs, closely followed by my mums slightly daintier gait, note how I say slightly, she was nearly as bad as Timmy at times, the woman was heavy! I guess it was too much of my cooking.

"What you cooked?" Timmy asked as he slid, yes I said slid, into his chair at the table. I placed the plate in front of him, knowing that he wouldn't like what I had prepared, however there wasn't much else that I could have done. He, as expected, pulled a face, but he began eating anyway. He knew as well as I did that mum didn't get paid till tomorrow so we were stuck with whatever was in the fridge or the freezer at the time.  
>Conversation was non existant during the meal. Mainly as it would have just been between Timmy and myself, and after the lunch debacle with his new friend I really didn't feel like talking with him.<p>

Dinner didn't last long as we were all just eating, and washing the dishes were simple, mainly due to the simplicity of the meal.

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><p>I could hear Ziva pottering about in her bedroom. Well at least I knew that she was there, which would make this process a little less painful, as I wouldn't have to wait around getting more and more and more nervous. This way there was less chance of me chickening out.<br>I heard her throw herself onto her bed and sigh. I took a deep breath, for courage before turning on my side to face the place where the brick had been removed.

"Hey... Ziva?" I asked, checking to see if she was still awake, half praying that she wasn't, or that she wouldn't want to talk to me, so that I could chicken out like I so desperately wanted to.

"Yes... Abigail." I bristled at the use of my full name, but I didn't comment. For some reason, although it bothered me still, I didn't mind it entirely as much coming from her mouth.

"Why..." I trailed off, taking another deep breath. I heard her snugger quietly and I glowered at where I imagined her face to be as she asked:

"Why what Abigail?" I could hear the smile in her voice and it infuriated me. I pulled myself together, scowling, before trying again.

"Wht are you always so nice to me? I mean, I'm such a bitch to you and you've had so many chances to be a bitch right back, but you never do. And I know you have to capacity to be a bitch because I've seen you do it to other people, mainly Tony if I'm honest, but it still confuses me." I finished my babble and sucked in a much needed breath as I began waiting for my reply.

"Abigail..." Ziva breathed. I barely heard her, and I probably would have missed it entirely had I not been straining my eats, listening for any sound coming from the other side of the single layer of bricks and mortar.  
>"Abigail, I am nice to you because... Because we are the same, you and I."<p>

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><p><strong>SBHNH: Well? Was it enjoyed?<br>Please review, spread the luuuuuuuuurve!**

**Loves  
>SBHNH<strong>


	10. Ziva 5

**SBHNH: My apologies for the long wait. Life got in the way, and My Ipod decided to delete all my notes, which is where I had, like, the next 5 chapters written up... Damn.**

**But Yes, Hope you enjoy this :-) **

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><p>I rolled onto my side and tried to feign sleep.<p>

"Ziva. What do you mean?" I tried keeping my breathing even and steady, praying she would believe I was asleep and she would leave me alone.  
>"No-one falls asleep that quickly Ziva. What did you mean, we're the same?" I sighed before rolling back over.<p>

"We've both lost people who are important to us. Now goodnight Abigail."  
>And with that I rolled on my side and internally made the decision not to answer anymore questions from Abigail. I couldn't go there, not again.<p>

"Ziva!" I awoke to the sound of my Father shouting me from downstairs.  
>"It is time to get up! You have the doctor appointment today!" I sighed. I had forgotten that I had no school this morning, due to a follow up Doctors appointment.<p>

"Yes Father." I shouted back as I stumbled blearily out of bed and headed towards the shower, my bare feet making slapping sounds on the wooden floor. I made my way to the bathroom, instinctively knowing that shower was gooooood!  
>Ziva brain turned cavewoman brain first thing in the morning.<br>Locking the bathroom door and stepping out of my teddy bear pyjama's and turning the shower faucet on.  
>Fumbling my way under scalding water I relished the feeling of the droplets slowly dripping down my body.<p>

I relived last night as my brain began to kick in under the constant pound of water hitting tiles. I hoped that Abigail wouldn't push the questions again. I hated not answering, but it was either that or lie, and I hated lying more.

Stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my frame I made my way back to my bedroom, pausing briefly during my dressing to glance at my bed, or more specifically, the wall next to my bed.  
>I assumed that Abigail had already left for school, so I continued to dress, hastily tying my wet hair into a tight ponytail before dragging myself downstairs to eat.<p>

"So everything seems fine with you, would you like to know about..."

"No!" I didn't mean to be rude to the kind nurse, but I really did not want to know. It was one of those subjects that would just result in a complete and utter breakdown for me, so it would be best to just avoid it.

"Oh, okay." Suddenly I was immensely grateful that she refused to let my Father into the room without my permission, as this would have been made a thousand times worse by the disapproving looks he would have given me.

"Is that it for today?" I ask, praying to get out of there as quickly as possible. I hated these appointments with a fiery passion.

"Yes..." The nurse said, before she managed to get out the end of the sentence I had grabbed my bag and had raced out the door, practically teleporting myself into my dad's car.

As I entered the school, I could see Abigail sat with Tony, Gibbs and she was leaning against someone I had never seen before. I almost didn't approach them, until I heard Tony call me over.

Abigail smiled up at me, before introducing the person she was leaning on as Mikel Mower. He leered up at me, not meeting my eyes in the slightest. I almost said something, but then I saw the happy look on Abigail's face and decided against it.

Instead I decided to make an excuse and leave. I couldn't be there... Mikel reminded me of... No. It cannot be happening again!

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><p><strong>SBHNH- Reviews people! They make my world go round!<strong>

**Also, this is completely Un-BETA'd, so please point out any mistakes.**

**Please review**

**Much loves  
>SBHNH <strong>


	11. Abby 6

**SBHNH: Oh gods guys I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated! Really, I'm so sorry! Things have been so hectic for me, with A-Levels and life and what-not that this story seriously was put on a back burner.**

**But I'm back now, and hopefully I'll start updating a little more often. But I can't make any promises because my life never behaves.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and once again, I'm so so sorry.**

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><p>Well that made a shed load of sense. Ziva had been out all morning, during which Mikel had finally worked up the courage to ask me out, and when she comes back at lunch, she runs away from us. Not that I care, but it is a bit weird.<p>

Continuing with the conversation was easy, Mikel wasn't the most advanced in the mental department, I actually believe I would have gotten a more complex conversation out of Timmy, or that weird Pasta boys brother, Love or Lova or something like that. But definitely not from Pasta boy.

The bell rang and I stood and Mikel instantly took my hand. It was uncomfortable, but it was nice to have someone there. I went through the rest of my classes on autopilot, thankful that Mikel wasn't in any of them, which sounds stupid, but he was clingy, so it was kinda annoying. But he was nice enough, and it did help with the whole 'proving I'm not still trying to murder myself' thing I was doing, so yeah.

By the end of the day I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Things were changing rather fast around here, and I was struggling to keep up, but I would never let anyone else see that.

Walking home, Gibbs cornered me about Mikel.

"Abs, I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're okay? It's not like you to date... well men..." I sighed, shooing Timmy away quickly.

"I'm fine Gibbs, honestly. I just... it's nice to have someone to lean on, surely you of all people understand that" I could see that I had hurt him, without meaning to, so I rested a hand on his arm and gave him an apologetic smile.  
>"I'm sorry. That was out of line. But honestly Gibbs. I'm fine." I try to make me smile re-assuring, but I have a feeling that I've failed.<p>

"Oh! Abby, I hope you don't mind, I said I'd go out with Feli tonight!" Timmy shouted, running back towards me. I sigh, slipping almost instantly into big sister mode.

"You know the rules Timmy. Do your homework and have something to eat. Okay?" Timmy sighed, but I knew he understood. He knew that I cared, so he did what I said. It wasn't like anyone else had ever really looked after him.

"I'm gonna run home now then" He said before running off. I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and turned back to Gibbs.

"Seriously. I'm fine. Mikel's a nice guy. It's good to change. Right?" I had asked myself the same question many times, but I wasn't going to tell him that. No-one could know that I was doubting myself, it would never end well. _Could_ never end well. I was the strong one. I was the one who didn't break, or if I did, it was in private, and it was over before you realised it.

"Right. Just let me know if something goes wrong yeah?" Gibbs didn't look like he believed me, but I could tell he was going to drop it. I was thankful for that at least.

Saying goodbye was quick, there was nothing else we needed to say, so it was nothing more than a hug and a wave and he was gone.

And for some reason that's when it hit me. I was alone. I wasn't alone in my house, there was Timmy and my Mother, but I was alone. There was no-one I could go to if I was having trouble. I was the one who took care of everyone else. But who took care of me? Me, I suppose, but that is hard and I just, for that split second, I just wanted someone I could lean on. But I forced those feelings down. It would do no-one any good if I were to start becoming selfish now. I had dinner to cook and I had to make sure that Timmy had done his homework and at least had a snack before he went out. I had my own homework to do, but that could wait. I had to make sure my Mother was alright if she was having a bad day and if she wasn't doing anything stupid if she was having a good day. There was no time for me.

But that's alright. Some change is good, but changing that would be bad

No-one to care for the carer.

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><p><strong>SBHNH: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, short as it was. I shall hopefully have the next one up a little quicker *Fingers Crossed*<strong>

**Hey, here's an idea! Review, it makes me work quicker *Shifty look* Honest :-)**


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